- Nov 6, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 29, 2022
What is Love Bombing?
Love Bombing is when a person showers another with affection, gifts, and promises for the future.
Sounds great, right? Who wouldn’t want to be adored and cherished? Women being swept off their feet is the foundation on what all romance novels are based on. Love Bombing, however, is another story.
Like any weapon in the wrong hands, Love Bombing can be used for harm. Sadly there are many pick-up artists out there who will shower you with affection and admiration simply for one goal… to manipulate you. Love Bombers are skilled at making you believe you may have found your Mr.Right.
Here are 5 top signs of Love Bombing
1: He spoils you Being lavished with gifts once in a while is perfectly fine, but Love Bombers often use exaggerated gestures to inspire devotion from a woman so they can have control. They will go over the top and sometimes do things you aren’t too comfortable with, like buying you costly presents or sending 1000 roses to your house even though you have just started dating each other. At first, this can seem innocent and sweet, but the point of these extravagant gifts is to manipulate you into thinking you owe them something.
2: He use’s flattery He hooks you in and puts you on a pedestal by telling you everything you want to hear. He’s never felt this way before. He has never been with such a beautiful woman like you. He fills your ears with everything you find pleasant. He comforts your insecurities with sweet words and promises. He knows that you would not only listen to these words but also lose your will to resist him. Your defenses will go down, and you will become susceptible to seduction.
3: He makes you feel guilty about your boundaries Things tend to move very fast with Love Bombers. They are keen to commit and want you all to themselves. At first, this feels lovely, but Love Bombers become reactive when you start feeling overwhelmed or decline their requests. They sulk, become emotional, or display frustration, and they make you feel like you are in the wrong for wanting boundaries.
4: He’s “great” at communication He seems to be a fantastic communicator; he talks for hours on the phone, texts frequently, and responds rather quickly. At first, it’s great, but he will then start getting annoyed when you don’t pick up his calls. He will demand quicker response times, and he will expect constant communication from you. He wants to be priority number one.
5: He seems too good to be true During the first few weeks of dating, he says he loves you without hesitation and claims that you are destined to be together. He uses the words soulmates, twin flames, or destiny. He seems so different from all of the other men you have dated and makes you feel unreasonable for questioning his intentions. Most men who are genuinely interested in a long-term commitment with you would not supply you with over-the-top praise or devotion straight away.
Love Bombing is the classic moves of pick-up artists, narcissists, and manipulators with the intent of drawing you in and gaining control.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, or uneasy, he might just be setting up the groundwork for his manipulation so that he can meet a goal of his. If your instinct is telling you something isn’t right, listen to it.
xxx
Leandra
His other Manipulation Tactics
1: Negging
2: Pretender
3: Peacocking
4: Gaslighting
5: Mixed Signals
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How do I know if he's gaslighting me?
You walk away from conversations more confused than when you started. You apologise for things you didn't do. You start to question your own memory of events you remember clearly. Gaslighting isn't him disagreeing — it's him rewriting reality until you doubt your own version. If you've started keeping notes to prove things happened, that's the answer.
What's the difference between pulling away and emotional manipulation?
Pulling away is about him. Emotional manipulation is about you. Pulling away can be done badly without being calculated. Manipulation is calculated — designed to keep you off-balance so you're easier to manage. If his withdrawals always coincide with you asking for something reasonable, that's not pulling away. That's punishment.
Why does he love-bomb then pull back?
Because love-bombing is performance, not connection. The intensity at the start was him trying to fast-track attachment so he could relax. Once you're attached, the performance ends — because in his mind, he's already won you. The pullback isn't disinterest. It's him stopping the part he was finding effortful.
How do I leave a manipulative man?
Quietly and completely. Don't announce. Don't explain. Don't give him the script of where you're going emotionally — he'll use it. Cut financial, emotional, and logistical ties first. Then leave once. Going back even once teaches him that leaving is a tactic, not a decision.
Is he toxic or am I overreacting?
Ask yourself: do I feel better or worse after most interactions with him? Worse, consistently, isn't "overreacting." Toxic isn't always loud — sometimes it's the slow drain of always being the one apologising, accommodating, second-guessing. If you can't be yourself around him, that's the answer.